Plotting and Curses
by Rose Lupin
Summary: Sirus and Lupin plot to rescue Harry from Pivet Drive but the two marauders find it isn't so easy with Dudley in their way. Why is Lupin curse-happy and Sirus perky? What will happen to the evil Dudley? Is the author having a sugar high? FIND OUT! *CH 9!*
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I would like to own Lupin.  
  
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"Muggles," Sirus grumbled. He had been sitting there for the last half-hour waiting for Remus Lupin. Shuffling back and forth, he sighed: what was that werewolf up to now? He chuckled slightly to himself, finishing off his drink, memories coming back. The place he was in was quite crowded, and he had a hard time trying to peer over the crowd.  
  
He couldn't let anyone realize he was a wizard. Not here: but he couldn't meet Remus at Diagon Alley. Some people didn't believe he was innocent. They thought he killed James.  
  
Sirus sighed. Poor James.  
  
  
  
--Flashback--  
  
"Look, Lily!" James was flying around his broomstick.  
  
"Ah, and here is the star of our house! Winner of the Quidditch cup! Any words to say to the folks at home?" Sirus grinned, holding up a piece of meat pie as a microphone. James lightly beamed him on the head as he landed, sending Sirus in a daze, and Lily laughing.  
  
"Where's everyone else?" James looked around. "Peter? Remus?"  
  
"Peter said he had something to do," Sirus moaned. "Moony is in detention. He tried to poison Snape." A slight grin appeared on his face.  
  
--End Flashback-  
  
  
  
"What's so funny?" Lupin had joined him at the table. A few people had stared at him as he entered: it was either the gray hair or the cloak that made them surprised. Remus blushed slightly before grabbing a drink. "What's this: whiskey?"  
  
"Yeah, don't drink it." Sirus looked dazed.  
  
"So what's this all about?" Lupin twirled the glass in front of him.  
  
"It's about Harry: I need to go get him." Sirus said quickly.  
  
"And-HOW am I involved?"  
  
"I need someone to distract them." Sirus grinned.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Lupin looked stunned.  
  
"I don't care: curse them for all I like." Sirus sighed. "I need to rescue Harry from THEM!"  
  
"Curse them yourselves!" Lupin paused but saw his friend's face fall. "Can I turn them into something at least?"  
  
Sirus nodded, and Lupin clapped his hands. "Okay!" He paused. "Where are these-Dud-Dur-les?"  
  
"Dursleys." Sirus said. "Pivet Drive. Come on, we have an escape to plan."  
  
--To Be Continued-  
  
Author Note: Please review if you want me to continue. 


	2. Lupin and Sirus

Author Note: I love Lupin and Sirus. Do you like them going nuts? This is the fic for you. Disclaimer: I want to own Lupin, but I can't. JK Rowling owns him. I get to own Lupin's growl though and Sirus' corny jokes!!!!!! : )  
  
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Sirus and Lupin had entered Pivet Drive; each carefull not to be noticed. Taking out the wands, the approached the Dursley house.  
  
"I get to curse people!" Lupin said cheerfully.  
  
Sirus stopped and looked at Lupin. "Now don't you go creating a scene. If the ministry finds out, we're out." He grinned, heading towards the back of the house. He would sneak up to rescue Harry while Lupin knocked on the door.  
  
The plan had a few bugs. The fact that it was midnight didn't help Vernon as he heard the KNOCK! KNOCK! at the door. He grunted. "GO AWAY!"  
  
Lupin made a face, and knocked harder, almost sending Uncle Vernon to the floor as the door opened. Face reddening, he smiled. "Hello!"  
  
Vernon grunted. "Do you have ANY IDEA what time it is?"  
  
Lupin grinned. "Time for me to get a watch I guess."  
  
"GET OUT!" Vernon demanded.  
  
"But I came to visit. I'm er, your long lost cousin!" Lupin said. "Er, slightly younger and more cute, but still!"  
  
Vernon stood there, stunned. The wailing of Dudley could be heard as he came downstairs. He looked at Lupin and screamed. "Mad man!"  
  
Lupin chuckled. "Would you like to see magic?"  
  
Vernon shouted. "Magic is NOT real!"  
  
Lupin growled.  
  
--  
  
"Harry! Wake up!" Sirus said, poking Harry.  
  
"What? SIRUS!"  
  
"SHHHHHH!" Sirus said. "We need to get out of here! You're coming with me." Harry nodded, and began to get dressed. He had waited forever for Sirus to take him away.  
  
Suddenly, a massive figure appeared at the doorway, a small wand in hand. It was!-  
  
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To Be Continued.don't you love my suspension?  
  
Want me to continue? Please review. 


	3. Dudley

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Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but the plot is MINE! : ) Author Note: Please Review. This is a short part that I wrote tonight, since I wanted a few more people to read it. Be warned, no reviews means I might not continue. Not a threat, just a fact. So far, its still running.  
  
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Sirus and Harry stared at the figure: Dudley had appeared!  
  
"Ha, give it up, Harry!" Dudley walked over to them, wand pointed and ready. However, he and Harry exchanged a look: where did it come from?  
  
Dudley tapped the wand and it exploded.  
  
Sirus gasped. "Lupin! What happened to him!"  
  
Dudley made a face. "Huh? Oh the guy with the gray hair down stairs? I toppled him over with my massive strength." Harry snorted in laughter, but was concerned. "You made me get so big! You tricked me into eating that toffee.my tongue was so big!"  
  
Sirus stood up, getting his wand out.  
  
Dudley snorted. "Don't try it, or else!"  
  
BANG! Suddenly Dudley fell on his face. But who had done it? Lupin appeared around the corner, grabbing the wand out of the fat hands of Dudley. He was soaked and had bits of feathers sticking out of his ears. Sirus grinned: he thought it made Lupin cute.  
  
"Ah, you look lovely." Sirus snorted. "We should have these night outs more often."  
  
Lupin rolled his eyes, playing along. "Oh please!" Harry looked curiously at the two of them. "He's a bit crazy." He whispered, grabbing the two of them.  
  
Harry followed Sirus out the door, jumping over Dudley. A splatted TV was all that was left in the living room. They then left for Sirus' place.  
  
-- To Be Continued. 


	4. Sirus and the Daily Prophet

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter characters. I want to own Lupin. Hm, I think I'll own all of Sirus and Lupin's corny jokes : ) Oh, I do own Lupin's growl! ; )  
  
Author Note: A VERY short part of the story, but hey, its still a part.  
  
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Sirus and Harry entered a small house, Lupin right behind. He had still been yelling about being soaked head to toe in water. Sirus didn't comment, but rolled his eyes at Lupin.  
  
"That Dudley is horrible!" Lupin spattered.  
  
"I know." Harry sat down in a chair: he hated Dudley. There was never a time in his life where he thought anything but hatred to Dudley.  
  
"Everyone okay?" Sirus asked, handing each a glass of hot chocolate.  
  
Harry nodded. "I'm great now!" He paused. "Er, Prof- I mean, Lupin? How did Dudley get your wand?"  
  
Lupin's face turned red. "Don't ask." He had finished getting the fluff out of his ears and was beginning to pull out bits of rubber from his robes. He looked at the hot chocolate but didn't drink it: he wasn't in the mood.  
  
"Oh, poor Remus." Sirus made a face, sipping his drink.  
  
"Poor me, nothing! Wait until I get a hold of that Dudley." Lupin paused. "You don't mind having one less cousin, Harry?"  
  
Harry muffled a laugh despite Sirus and his gasp. "Remus, really! Well, as long as you don't do anything to harmful like blow him up."  
  
Lupin made a slight grin, beginning to sip his hot chocolate. "I won't try that-yet."  
  
Sirus sighed, and opened up the Daily Prophet. His jaw dropped as he looked at the front page. "OH NO!" He sat back. "Of all the things they had to do!"  
  
"What?!" Harry and Lupin said together, trying to see the front page. Lupin gasped, and Harry looked at the article twice, but said nothng out of shock.  
  
"Its worse then what that Rita Skeetes did." Lupin shook his head.  
  
--  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. 


	5. Pictures

Author Note: Hi again, I've updated the story. Hope you like it. Please review. : )  
  
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"They shouldn't have used THAT picture!" Sirus threw down the newspaper, Lupin and Harry gave him a look as he explained. "It's horrible! Just look at it!"  
  
Harry looked at the article as Lupin began laughing:  
  
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-Black Stirs Trouble with Muggles-  
  
"Black Sirus, known criminal to the wizard world, has made trouble with Muggles: kidnapping the young wizard Harry Potter from Pivet Drive last night. Ministry officials took hours in order to restrain a family of overly-large muggles, performing numerous memory charms. The muggle house which the young Harry Potter occupied was left in ruins, making some people suspects that more then one wizard was involved in this terrible event. No direct evidence points into this direction, but ministry officials are still searching.  
  
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Harry saw a picture of Sirus, blinking absently back at the page. He was much younger in the photograph, having slightly curly hair and a stubbed chin. He wore an odd-colored shirt as well. Lupin simply rolled his eyes, sitting back into the chair. He drank the rest of his drink, wiping a milk moustache away as Sirus snatched the cup away. "Sure, laugh now. I remember what your picture looked like a few years back."  
  
Sirus waved his wand, suddenly making a photo album appear from one of the shelves. "If I recall, Moony, you had a certain grudge against pictures when you were younger."  
  
Lupin began to stick out his tongue, but instead began pleading as Sirus opened the album. "Oh NO you don't! Don't show him those pict-"  
  
Sirus attempted to whistle. "Oh, I'm sorry...were you saying something?"  
  
Flipping through some pages, he came to a picture of him, Lupin and James together. Sirus had the odd-colored shirt on again, his hair even more curly then ever. James' hair was not much better, looking a lot like Harry's did; he was still wearing his Hogwarts robes. Lupin hid partly behind the two in a leather jacket, his hair spiked up a bit on the ends.  
  
Lupin burst out laughing. "See how unreasonable he was back then, Harry? Horrible hair cuts, weren't they? Glad he got SOME of his sense back."  
  
"Oh look whose talking, spiky."  
  
"At least your father had fashion sense, isn't that right, Harry?" Sirus looked at Harry who was grinning back. He was about to say something else, but a sudden sound stopped him.  
  
Someone was knocking on the door.  
  
Sirus got up, giving Lupin a nervous look as he made his way towards the door. No one knew where Sirus lived...he thought no one knew..  
  
Lupin followed behind, absently picking up a spatula on his way.  
  
"What are you going to do with THAT?" Sirus whispered. "Beat him to death?!" He shook his head, opening the door...very..slowly....  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
To Be Continued 


	6. Visitors and Surprises

A/N: Hi! Okay, here's another chapter. I hope you like it.  
  
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...CREAK! The door opened: Sirus held his breath, Lupin having raised his spatula high.  
  
Who was it, Harry thought, eyes fixed at the opening door. Voldemort? He gulped as the door swung open and Sirus poked his head out from behind it.  
  
"Hey, there's no one here!" He exclaimed.  
  
"MEOW!"  
  
Lupin practically jumped into Sirus' arms at the sudden sound. Shaking his head, he was about to make a blow with the intruder, but fell short, looking at the visitor: Mrs. Norris.  
  
Mrs. Norris purred, rubbing up against its owner, who leaned back a bit in the doorway: Filch! He grinned a bit, as though glad his cat had nearly scared them all to death. "Why, hello Sirus and Remus! Ah, and of course, Harry Potter."  
  
Lupin poked his spatula a bit towards Filch as he spoke. "Las' I saw of you, I was being yelled at for trying to poison our lucky Severus." He looked at Mrs. Norris who had rubbed up against Sirus' leg.  
  
Sirus looked shocked. Remus just shuddered.  
  
"Why are you here?" Sirus finally asked, recoiling from Mrs. Norris. He was tempted to get rid of her once and for all. However, Filch had those chains in his office still....  
  
Filch laughed. "Ah, I shall tell you. Can I come in?" Sirus silently nodded, letting Filch walk into the house and sit down. Everyone else had sat down before he spoke again. "I've come to warn you of something." His voice was rather dreary.  
  
"What?" Lupin, Sirus, and Harry had asked together.  
  
"It's very bad,' Filch shook his head. "Dumbledore, the poor fellow: he is having a hard time with the ministry. It seems that you-know-who has spies. Very helpful spies." He absently eyed Lupin for a minute, and Harry swore he heard a low growl. "He needs help, he does."  
  
"Why weren't we sent an owl?" Sirus asked, eyes narrowed as he waited. He then watched as Lupin trembled at the sight of Mrs. Norris. Strange, but very amusing. Sirus wondered if it was a werewolf thing. "Filch?"  
  
"Haven't you heard?" Filch said, alarmed. "I guess not..not while off rescuing Harry from those muggles. Yes, I know you were in it Mr. Lupin." Filch sighed for a minute. "McGonagall is dead."  
  
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Author Note: okay, okay someone died. Not very happy but hey, there's more to it. Please Review! 


	7. A Recall by Flich

Author Note: Hello again, I finally got another chapter up. : )  
  
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"What?!" Everyone said together, shocked.  
  
"McGonagall? She can't be dead!" Sirus proclaimed, taken aback. He looked over at Harry and Lupin who both stood there, dumbfounded.  
  
Flich made a grim face. "I know, I know." He ran his fingers through a few strands of gray hair. "You know I cared dearly about poor Minerva, but-"  
  
Lupin began scratching his head, poking himself with the spatula he had held tightly in his grasp. Shocked or not, he needed a weapon from Mrs. Norris, who looked up more innocently then ever at him, before slinking around to Harry. "But how?-........"  
  
"You-Know-Who," Flich said in a hushed voice. "He sent off to get rid of her 'fore the term began. Said he was to be pickin' the professors off one by one." Flich shook his head gravely. "Dumbledore wanted me to come get you for some reason. Said it had something to do with a few years ago and you had ought to know what it was?-"  
  
Sirus and Lupin glanced at each other, not knowing what Flich was talking about at all.  
  
"Poor McGonagall" Sirus said after a moment. "After all the pranks we had done in her class-"  
  
"After all those darn curses on the Slytherins-" Lupin followed.  
  
"And on our poor Snape, whose sudden transformation into a white ferret one afternoon will live in our hearts forever-" Sirus beamed.  
  
"Poor Snape, nothing," Flich interrupted. "I bet he's got something to do with this, I do!"  
  
Lupin shook his head. "He saved Harry's life once, remember? And it wasn't like he has tried to kill us since we graduated."  
  
"Well, there was that one time-" Sirus remarked.  
  
"That's beside the point-" Lupin began to say, but saw a small glare from Flich and stopped. He could hear Flich want to begin an uproar about their "childish fighting" but for his surprise, he said nothing. Instead, Mrs. Norris came up to Lupin, purring loudly. "Oh hello kitty-I mean-Mrs. Norris- er, do you want a mouse? How about a tuna sandwhich? Werewolves aren't that tasty...."  
  
Mrs. Norris pawed the spatula in Lupin's hand, making him drop it to the ground. She then slinked back to Flich, who was ready to leave.  
  
"You boys go to Dumbledore soon ya can, but wait until everything settles down about this kidnapping bit." Flich stated. "You can't afford to get into much more trouble."  
  
"What about me?" Harry chimed in, having been transfixed the last few minutes.  
  
"Come along too. We can't leave you alone with You-Know-Who around." Flich then vanished from sight, leaving the trio alone..  
  
- -  
  
To Be Continued.  
  
Author Note: Please review! 


	8. Quick Note

Author Note: Another chapter...yay!!!!!!  
  
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Harry, Sirus and Lupin quietly made their way through the woods towards Hogwarts.  
  
"What was Flitch talkin' about," Harry asked after minutes of silence, brushing his messy black hair back. "About a few years ago?"  
  
Lupin shrugged, a grin forming on his face. "Who knows: we've done so much stuff 'a few years ago' that to confess it all would take to long." A muffled laughed was heard by Sirus in the back as they continued. "No really! Hogwarts remembers us for our horrible stunts. And don't you dare say you weren't pleased with yourself, Sirus."  
  
Sirus rolled his eyes. "Well, I suppose tormenting Snape at any given time was worth it." He looked around the woods, trying to figure out where he was going. "I don't know what Dumbledore is talking about, though. Probably has something to do with Snape."  
  
"Where is old ferret face, anyway?" Lupin asked. "He hasn't given me the death stare in AGES. I'm beginning to think he doesn't care!"  
  
"He probably scared to death of me. I'm a criminal after all, aren't I? Killed Peter and escaped death eaters/ And Lupin my side-kick against Flich and.....cats." He grinned, not forgetting Mrs. Norris.  
  
Lupin's face turned red. "I tell you! She's dangerous! She could claw me to death!" She looked towards the two for support. "Well, she looked that way!"  
  
All three of them laughed loudly, before continuing on their way.  
  
"Look, there's Hogwarts!" Harry said, looking out to the enormous castle.  
  
"Hasn't changed much," Sirus said absently. He sighed, thinking about when he had been there with James and Remus. A shiver went through him though: Peter wasn't dead. He shook his head, turning his attention back to Hogwarts.  
  
"Nope: took them a year since we left to re-build the place," Lupin joked. "Come on, I suppose Dumbledore wants to see us, huh?"  
  
Harry shook his head, following the others to the castle. As the approached the door, though, they found someone waiting for them.  
  
No, it wasn't Dumbledore....  
  
.......It was Snape!  
  
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To Be Continued 


	9. Purple Hair, Lectures and Snape

Author Note: Hey guys, how are you? I'm back! Here's another chapter to the story! : ) I think you'll like this chapter. Thanks to all who have reviewed thus far. I really appreciate your comments.  
  
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Plotting and Curses: Chapter 9  
  
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"Snape?" Sirus and Remus said together.  
  
Snape grunted once at the sight of the three standing in front of him.  
  
"We missed you too." Remus said, trying to remain cheerful.  
  
Snape ignored the comment, turning his nose up slightly. "I see you and Sirus haven't changed at all. Pity, I would have thought you two would have developed some sense after all these years."  
  
"Us? Sense?" Sirus looked mortally offended. "You aren't allowed to say such things in the same sentence- and in front of Harry! How dare you!"  
  
Harry let out a laugh despite the glare from Snape.  
  
"I now see why he's so much trouble." Snape said coldly.  
  
"Don't worry Snape, you'll have your turn one of these days." Sirus grinned. "After all, I helped Peter out, now didn't I?"  
  
Harry could have sworn he saw Snape try to step backwards at that remark. It was the same sort of fear like that shown between Lupin and Mrs. Norris. Unlike Mrs. Norris, however, Snape wasn't as easy to get rid of...  
  
"So what brings you to the wonderful part of Hogwarts?" Sirus asked.  
  
"I work here, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah." Sirus sighed. "So I guess we're stuck seeing you until we meet with Dumbledore. Where is he anyway?"  
  
"I'm supposed to take you to his main office." Snape replied. "He has to speak with you two. Harry may come too, but no funny business."  
  
"Do you know what he wants to talk to us about?" Lupin asked, beginning to follow Snape up the steps to the school.  
  
"If I knew that, Lupin, don't you think I could have told you?"  
  
Lupin shrugged: it was worth a try. He was about to admire the scenes of the Hogwarts castle which he had missed so much, but something stopped him. Actually, someone had stopped him. In the corner of his eye he spotted Sirus, wand pulled out, whispering an incantation to Harry.  
  
Lupin ducked just in time as Sirus waved his wand in the same direction, the target being none other than Snape. Turning back just in time, he saw Snape continuing to walk with a cranky look on his face-and that not being all. His nose being over-sized, his mouth had grown small, and his hair streaked in neon purple, he looked like a clown ran over.  
  
Sirus held a straight face, but the other two had to force themselves from not laughing.  
  
Snape grunted. "I hope you two realize the seriousness in this matter. I suggest you straighten up before entering or..."  
  
Harry didn't hear the rest of the lecture. He was too busy fighting off the laughter. He saw that Lupin was having the same difficulty, having covered his red-turned face.  
  
Yes, someone would die of laughter, Harry thought, and he would be the first to go.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
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Author Note: Please review!!!!!! 


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